Navigating the Teen Years: How Parents Can Provide a Safe Space for Growth and Independence
Teenagers exist in the gap between child and adult. Parents often grapple with how to support their teenager's development towards launching. These same parents and teens feel the ensuing separation with different reactions. Some developing tasks for teens involve increased responsibility and experiencing the consequences of decisions. Other tasks include finding social and peer connections and exploring relationships and sexuality. Their own inner compass about work, school, and being a community member is also a part of this process.
A parent's task during this period of time is to be a safe container for their teen. Parents need to allow life skills learning to take place while providing a loving and solid safety net. Being a safe container allows teens to discover and find themselves. This is necessary for the teen to become healthy and mentally stable as they go through the ups and downs of life. Parents need to focus on being present, curious, open, and solid to help reinforce their belief in the teen. Parents can lend some critical thinking and relationship modeling during this stage. If you find it challenging to create a safe and supportive environment for your teen, consider exploring somatic therapy in San Diego, CA as an additional resource to help both you and your teen navigate this crucial stage of development.
Walking the Tightrope: Balancing Autonomy and Support
In our office we experience teens and parents walking this tightrope of autonomy, trust, and support regularly. Parents need to learn tools to cope with their anxiety, desire for control, judgment, fear, and anger. Teens, unsurprisingly, feel all this as well. A teen's brain is developing, with a hormone profile that creates increased stress, and their nervous system is wobbly in the search for security. Ooof, this is not easy for anyone! They are bracing to see if the world outside of home will welcome them or not. They do not need this ambiguity of whether they will be welcomed or not in their own home. Secure attachment in the home is a protective factor for upcoming stress and trauma.
Exploring Your Role: How Parents Can Help or Hinder
When teens have issues through this stage, the parent(s) is invited to explore their role in helping or hindering their teen. So, in lieu of increasing safety, connection, and care, here is a list of places to be present with your teen. Having activities together creates a sense of partnership, support, and playfulness. These places and activities are opportunities to be present and partner together.
Activities in San Diego, CA to Foster Connection: Opportunities for Bonding
1. The BEACH. Please, this is the most obvious option! Mission Beach, La Jolla Shores, or Moonlight have great, but different vibes to explore. Throw in some Gelato at Bobboi's and a walk to enjoy the scenery. Give options for inviting friends, pop a squat on a blanket, and enjoy the beach together. Let your teen know you are playful, low-stress, and can be present, without being intrusive.
2. Coronado Island. These beaches are fabulous for lawn games, sunsets, and bike rides. Additionally, Coronado Island has great shops, bike rentals, and gastropubs. Plan a Sunday morning coffee shop splurge at Clayton's Coffee to chat about the week's events. Stay open about how they might need your guidance and support around the coming week's events.
3. La Jolla Cove. Let La Jolla Cove's range of activities feed you for an afternoon. We kayaked with whales the last time we kayaked here! Having a parent and teen together during shared activities increases attachment and bonding. Well, this is, if the parent is able to hold back criticism, anxiety, or control. Which we know is HARD because your teen could be stumbly, private, awkward, angsty, and could be shy or bully-ish. Exposing the relationship to shared activities with positive feedback loops creates security. Security and safety signals to the nervous system to relax. Yes, YOU CAN DO THIS! If Kayaking isn't your thing, there are The La Jolla Tidepools and The Coast Walk Trail to enjoy too!
4. VERBATIM Books. This is for the quiet and smart-ish types. Grabbing a coffee at Communal Coffee, then head over to the striking, diverse, and women-owned bookstore. Wander. Explore the different isles together, or separately. Let the books draw you in and share what you found afterward. Or go to different sections like sexual health, cars and automobiles, or finance. Follow their interest in anime, comic books, or beauty. Just take time. Communicate with your mood and nervous system that you are present and have all the time in the world.
5. PETCO PARK. Catch a Padres game if sports appeal to you both or attend a concert of their choice. This venue has beautiful weather and is near Little Italy for great food. If crowds are not your thing, try out the outdoor bouldering at Asylum Outdoor Bouldering!
6. San Diego Zoo. This is for the animal lovers in your family. The Zoo has a little something for everyone; elephants, reptiles, big cats, or monkeys. The wandering paths are great for meandering conversations. The Zoo is an opportunity to negotiate together about a plan, to practice following, and to let one another lead. Afterward, get individual delicious pizzas from Buona Forchetta in South Park. Yum!
Enhancing Relationships: The Importance of Connection
Connect with your teen, or your significant other, at some of these above spots to enhance safety, positivity, and play. If you find it hard to connect or keep coming up against negative cycles, it's worth it to seek support. As family therapists at Compass Healing Project, working with a trained therapist can help you and your teen connect. You may need to learn new ways to relate as you both navigate different stages of growth. Therapy can help with that.
Seeking Support With Somatic Therapy: The Benefits of Therapy for Families
We want to create a space for you to share, reflect, and learn ways to have a lasting relationship and friendship. We work with parents and teens, teens, parents, individuals, couples, and families. Having time dedicated to your relationships is hard to find these days. If these tips and activities don't do the trick, we are just a call or email away!
Reconnect With Your Teen With Somatic Therapy in San Diego, CA
If you're struggling to connect with your teen and feel overwhelmed by the challenges of this stage, somatic therapy can provide the support you need. Our experienced somatic therapists at Compass Healing Project can help you and your teen build a deeper, more understanding relationship by addressing underlying stress and emotional barriers. Reach out to start your journey towards a stronger, healthier connection with your teen. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Reach Out and Fill out our New Client Inquiry Form to get started.
Schedule a discovery call with one of our skilled somatic therapists to discuss your needs and goals.
Begin reconnecting with your teen in somatic therapy.
Additional Counseling Services at Compass Healing Project
At Compass Healing Project, we provide a holistic approach to therapy, incorporating a variety of modalities to address a wide range of issues. Alongside our somatic therapy to help you reconnect with your teen, we offer EMDR, Clinical Sexology, hypnotherapy, ketamine-assisted therapy, and embodiment practices. These therapies are effective in treating anxiety, depression, PTSD, grief and loss, sexuality concerns, and relationship challenges. For more information and to get to know us better, visit our blog. Our Colorado and California clinics are staffed with caring therapists who specialize in trauma resolution, emotional healing, and integrative therapy.
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